In the Company of Easy Drinkers: The JMR Eulogy

Today's guest writer, Sam Simmons first fell in love with the water of life 5 years ago in Edinburgh, Scotland where he ‘researched’ whisky as the poet laureate of the Edinburgh University Water of Life Society and later pursued further ‘research’ as president. He has hosted whisky tastings in many countries, for fun as well as fund-raising (Amnesty International), and continues to act as an amateur whisky educator and propagandist. He currently lives in London where he has worked for Sukhinder Singh and the Whisky Exchange, is desperately trying to finish a PhD on Ezra Pound, fascism, and modernist literary aesthetics, and records his Malt Missions as Dr. Whisky.

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In the Company of Easy Drinkers: The JMR Eulogy

When I lived in Ottawa working to earn my Masters degree, I spent one wild night downing glass after glass of Gibson’s Finest with a woman, who I can say without trepidation, was one of Ottawa’s finest. But other than that lovely occasion, my Masters had very little to do with whisky. It wasn’t until I pursued a doctorate in Scotland that whisky really grabbed a hold of me. Masters of drink (and brothers) Jon and Mark Geary, along with Master distiller David Robertson had created a product that was to play a large part in my years in Edinburgh as a Master of Arts, in pursuit of a Doctor of Philosophy.

Sadly, while I still write paragraph after paragraph, edit footnote after footnote, and work to spend more time in libraries than in pubs to finish this dissertation project as old as the Easy Drinking Whisky Company itself, Jon, Mark, and Robbo is calling it quits… at least in the UK.

Yes, you read it here first (just like Kevin’s coverage of the innuendo and rumours in the run-up to the announcement of David Robertson’s move to Whyte & Mackay). If there is one place on-line where it is safe to beat the official presses it is the Scotch Blog. Yeah, I could’ve done it on my blog, but, for starters, my format is a little dry for this venue.

But what if the styles were merged… Malt Mission, history and tasting impressions AS WELL AS straight news with blunt comment… What would it look like?

~~~~~~---dream sequence---~~~dream sequence~~~---dream sequence------~~~~~~

Jon, Mark and Robbo’s
The Fresh, Fruity One
Blended Grain Scotch Whisky
40% abv
£17
$30(USD)

This is the most recent, and perhaps last bottling to be released by the Easy Drinking Whisky Co. The Fresh, Fruity One is very unusual in that it is a blended grain whisky, meaning it is made up of only whiskies from grain distilleries. But it is even more unusual because it uses all 6 grain distilleries currently in production: Cameronbridge, Girvan, Invergordon, North British, Port Dundas, and Strathclyde.

There are many elements of the current state of the whisky industry that we must credit to the Easy Drinking Whisky Company’s hard work. And in this, let us not forget the ‘and’ in Jon, Mark, and Robbo, Andy Forrester who traveled near and far charming the pants off men and women alike to bring samples of these blended malt whiskies to wanting mouths and grateful wallets. Not an easy job! You try driving around Leith in a Landrover, never mind a Landrover with the word “whisky” and fricking cartoons all over it.

Specifically, the elements I am referring to are
-    the resurgence of the Vatted / Blended malt category
-    the repackaging and re-branding phenomenon
-    the legitimizing of women in the whisky marketplace
If, for you, these three are not self-explanatory, at least allow me to elaborate on the first.

For many people, acknowledging enjoyment of one of JMR’s whiskies was more a confession of guilt than an announcement of pride. “Not as sophisticated as I like, but…”, “Good, drinkable whisky, but…”, “I wouldn’t buy it, but its good and…” etc. Having spent many hours on both sides of the counter in whisky shops across the UK, I have heard people say things like, “No, too cheap”, “Not classy enough for a gift…” and, “Really? The one with the cartoons is a whisky?”

Oh, but the one with the monkey, that works (Monkey Shoulder)? Or the one with the Hallowe’en font (Serendipity)? How about the one with drawings of pigs or sheep (Pigs Head and Sheep Dip)?  That just wouldn’t fly...

Without JMR (and artist/designer Neill), none of these other malts would have succeeded, or at least, folks in boardrooms would never have believed they could succeed. Because, yes, there are whisky drinkers who don’t own Cartier watches, cars, or companies and don’t buy expensive whisky as a status symbol but who buy everyday whisky to enjoy with mates, sit down with at the end of a hard week, or use to make that killer whisky chocolate cake (you know who you are).

John Glaser and Compass Box have also benefited from the successes and failures of JMR, and perhaps John has struck the right balance between good value, integrity/pedigree, smart packaging, and drinkable whisky. But it is worrying, is it not, to learn that the last of those listed qualities is perhaps, the least important? The failure of J&B’s -6 might hint at the weight taste actually does have.

I have many friends and family back in Canada who would buy JMR whiskies for drinking. Yes, drinking. Remember when that was what whisky was for? Perhaps this is why JMR is going to remain in the U.S. because after all, when the ideals of “the free” and “the brave” cannot always be lived up to, we North Americans tend to reach for “the cheap” and “the reliable.”

So here is to JMR, spreading the mantra of fun, flavour, and friendship.

With love,
The Balding Canadian One

TASTING NOTES:

Sweet and not very whisky-y. Perrier. Bananas. Melons. Could be a syrup for a soda fountain or confectionery.

Soft, if watery. Vanilla perfume, licking a knife used to cut up a gala melon. Tightens in the mouth, dry rice, then Starburst. Sweet and fresh slightly petrolic finish. 

SUMMARY:

Perfect for the season, absolutely begging for a mixer. Needs something to round it out, but there is something refreshing about it straight. Could be used in place of vodka? Rye? In some kind of Martini? Or with ginger ale. Or even just old reliable ice cubes. However you have it, a great idea from real pioneers. If this is successful, maybe Grant’s will introduce the Girvanator. Or how about Bonny(bridge) and Strath(clyde)… okay, enough.

Comments

[Stephen Beaumont]

Alas, the JMR whiskies have also been stricken from Ontario, where I live and purchase the bulk of my bar stock. They will be deeply missed, but it is good to know at least that I will still be able to buy them south of the border.

[Tommi]

Nice writing Sam! It's a pity you cannot buy those whiskies in Finland..

[Simeon]

I can see a case or five of JMR Rich Spicy One heading my way before it dries up in the UK. Why oh why..?????!?!?!?!?!?

[Neill Hope]

Thanks for that glowing eulogy, this must be what is like to listen in on your own funeral.

It's kinda sad watching something you've created from the back of a fag (cigarette) packet wither and die on the vine but onwards and upwards.

Watch this space for something fresh and exciting in the world of whisky

Until then i'm available for weddings, bar mitzvahs etc etc.....

[Mona Respiolo]

Sad on the recent demise of JMR in UK.

Just finished my last bottle of the Smooth and Sweet.

But speaking as one Canada's southern neighbors...why would we want to keep our loyalties with a brand who could not even cut it in their own country?

We, Americans, might like cheap and reliable - but we also like knowing our (Scotch) whisky is hitting homeruns at their home ballpark as well.

Obviously, JMR struck out and someone else will need to step up to the plate.

[Mr Tattie Heid]

Why will JMR continue to be available in the US? Because the "whisky for dummies" theme is perfectly suited to the ongoing infantilization of American culture. Americans are proud of their perpetual adolescence! It is indeed a shame that marketing and promotion take precedence over taste, but JMR can hardly complain about that. I personally can't comment on the whisky; I've never had it. I'd be as embarrassed to carry a bottle to the check-out counter as I would be to enter a four-star restaurant wearing a pair of oversized gym shorts and a backwards baseball cap. But plenty of people in this country do such without a trace of self-consciousness, so JMR should continue to do well here.

[Bamber]

Personally, I think the only thing wrong with their whiskies was the price.

At £17 for a 50 cl bottle, it is the equivalent of £23.80, for a 70cl bottle. That will buy you most entry level single malts.

The way I see it, these whiskies were competing against the supermarket own labels. Tesco Islay / Highland etc. Much cheaper and of comparable quality.

[Redleg]

I just bought the last bottle of The Rich Spicy One at my local liquor store. For those single malt snobs who would never be seen drinking JMR- you don't know what you missed. Both the Rich Spicy and Smokey Peaty Ones were fine drams and an excellent value. I would certainly place them above a number of single malts that sell for much more money. They will be missed.

[whiskeydummy]

Call me a an infantile Texas American but The Smokey Peaty One is every bit as good as pricier single malts. I purchased all my local whiskey store had in stock, which was not much!

[Michael Slavitch]

The label is no way to choose a scotch!

The problem with JMR was that their scotch was too damn good and too good a value, cutting into overpriced single malt sales.

I love the Smokey Peaty One. Kicks the ass of 90% of the overpriced single malt dreck out there at half the price, minimum.

There is always Te Bheag, also good, but from a firm that is not as novel as JMR.

[smsmmns]

I dunno, Michael, Te Bheag and Praban na Linne (The Gaelic Whiskies) are also pretty novel... No cartoons or shnozzle tests, but owner Sir Iain Noble even wanted all his staff to have to speak Gaelic as a job requirement... and he imagines Diageo a 'soft competitor' and still (I believe) intends to strip Talisker of its status as the only distillery on the isle of Skye. Novel, quaint, and cRaZy.

[Jamie]

Where can you buy JMR in the states. I've scoured Minnesota and Wisconsin. It's a pitty that folk judge a whisky by it's cover! I was first entranced by the Smokey Peaty One but have fallen in love with the Rich Spicy One...you have to go some to find a better tasting whisky and you sure won't find it in that price bracket. If you know of locations that are selling it, please share.