The Scotch Blog

'Allo Guv'nor

Here's an ad you're not likely to see anywhere else - as it was turned down by an unnamed financial periodical.

Have you NO sense of humor?

Your Dad was not a fag. But apparently you are.

Canadian Club, a product of Beam Global Spirits* is about to roll out a new ad campaign.

The concept of the campaign? Your Dad was much cooler than you are.

Yep that's right - they are saying it's cool to drink whisky BECAUSE your dad drank it, not despite it.

They are also saying that your Dad was probably more of a man than you are.

According to the press release:

The thought-provoking campaign challenges consumers to embrace their dads classic masculinity, most visibly expressed through their choice to drink Canadian Club whisky cocktails. In launching Damn Right, CC invited Beam Global employees to search through their photo albums to submit images that epitomize the campaign.

Eh. I'm not buying it.

The message I get from the attached ad? Your Mom likely wasn't your Dad's last either. <click on the picture to read the ad>

Some of the headlines created for the ads (seriously):

"Damn Right Your Dad Drank It"
"Your Dad Was Not a Metrosexual"
“Your Mom Wasn’t Your Dad’s First”
"Your Dad Never Got a Pedicure."

I always try to be helpful, so I thought I'd offer up some more "Dad was awesome" ideas for future ads:

For the "Dad was tougher than you" ad placement

• Damn right your Dad never wore a seat-belt.
• Your Dad was twice the man you'll ever be.
• When your Dad was your age a DUI was expected.

For the "Dad was a sex machine" ad placement

• Your Dad didn't use condoms when he was in Saigon.
• Before Paternity Tests.
• Damn right your Dad was getting more than you - DESPITE the leisure suit and side burns.
• Ah, the days when STDs could be cured with penicillin.

For the "Things were just plain better back then" ad placement

• When men were men and cars got 3 miles per gallon.
• You Dad never picked up maxi-pads on his way back from picking the kids up from Soccer*
  
  • *And your Dad never picked the kids up from Soccer
• Your Dad never had to cuddle.

For the "Misogynist" ad placement

• Daddy only hit Mommy because he loved her.
• Dad didn't call it "Date Rape" it was just a "Date".

Ad sites like Adrants are loving the campaign:

Are we seeing a full-on return to the glory days of the hard liquor cocktail when beer was for factory workers and wine was for sissies? Can we now go back to the three martini lunch, pinch asses in the afternoon and have three more martinis at night while watching Mad Men?  We might not get any work done but it sure sounds like fun.

Adrants also reports that the campaign was created by BBDO and ads will appear in Rolling Stone, Sports Illustrated, Sporting News, with additional placements in Playboy, Men's Journal, Esquire, Outside and Men's Fitness in December and into 2008.

Well it IS a different approach.

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* Disclosure: I am a shareholder in Fortune Brands, parent company of Beam Global

Change is Good

A quick follow-up look at Blackwood Distillers web site shows that the children have been taken off; Riannon has been dumped, and the reference to bond sales and whisky in 2006 is gone.

Being the modest chap that he is, Ian Buxton likely won't want to take credit for this; but these stories certainly had something to do with it, no?

The Scotch Blog
What's the deal with Blackwood?
Ian And Blackwood (Part Deux) and the silliness of self-proclamations

Whisky Rumour Mill

The power of the (electronic) press :)

Ian And Blackwood (Part Deux) and the silliness of self-proclamations

Ian Buxton once again unleashes the fury at Blackwood distillers. This time the fury appears on the "Rumour Mill" portion of the Scottish Field Whisky Challenge.

Ian takes aim at one of the members of the Blackwood team and their dubious assertions:

Here is an excerpt:

But what caught my eye this time, under the heading “The team”, wasn’t the tiny tots but the redoubtable Ms. Riannon Walsh, described as “Non Exec” and the “USA's leading whisky expert”.

Now leave aside what Paul Pacult, John Hansell or a number of luminaries would make of that assertion and consider Ms Walsh’s own claims to fame.  Her own website describes her as author of “Whisky Dreams: A Culinary Journey Through the World of Single Malt Whiskies” and President of Cloonaughill Distillers Ltd. of Ireland.  Impressive credentials, indeed.

But sadly for such an enticing title, Whisky Dreams does not appear on either of Amazon’s US or UK sites . . .

You really want to read the rest of this . . . Read the full piece here.

What strikes me is why someone would want to make a claim that is A. disputable; B. disprovable, and C. nonsensical.

It brings to mind the angst of the Steve Carell character in "Little Miss Sunshine" over whether he, or his rival was "America's Leading Proust Scholar".

Who gives a shit?

"Leading"?

Even were we to ignore the fact that this is a self-proclaimed title, and consider for a moment that such a title should be granted by people who live outside of your house, by what measurement would the title "leading" be granted?

Amount of published written material on the subject? Respect of Peers? Number of Books sold? Industry Awards and accolades? Respect and admiration from the general public? Runs Batted In (RBI)? Height? Enemy Fighters shot down over the South Pacific?

Can Riannon lay claim to "leading" by any of those measures?

is this bartending?

Don't ask me how I come across this stuff.

This video came up in a search with the description:

At DrinksTv.com vote JC as Best Bartender in South Florida. Rate more hot bartenders on personality, cocktail, & looks at DrinksTv.com

Macallan Rocks

While this is a very complicated drink, I wondered if "JC" was a one-hit wonder.

Nope. He amazed me with this Scotch drink as well:

Glenlivet Rocks

How could you NOT vote for this guy????
 

Miscellany

New graphic?

You may have noticed that the old The Scotch Blog graphic was reminiscent of a Balvenie label. It had always been my plan to occasionally swap out the graphic with other whisky labels. This weekend was the first chance I actually set aside some time to get around to it.

There's a story that goes along with the new graphic.

A few months ago, I told John Glaser (Compass Box Whisky) that he should name his next whisky "Coelacanth".

"Why?" said John.

"Because" I told him "Most people can't pronounce the name of your whiskies as it is - and this would just fit in."

What did I mean by that?

• Eleuthera (pronounced Eh-loo-thuh-rah)
• Asyla (It's Uh-sy-lah, though I've heard it called Ah-see-la)
• Hedonism The word is pronounced He-donism [with a long 'e'], though I've heard some people pronounce it Head-onism)
• Orangerie (Is it pronounced with a faux french accent as Au-ron-ger-ee or the more straight-forward Orange-er-ie?)

While I don't think John will ever use the name Coelacanth for one of his whiskies, if he does you'll know where the idea came from :). In the meantime, I mocked up what I thought a Coelacanth whisky label by Compass Box might look like. And that's the story.

By the way, a Coelacanth (pronounced "see-lah-canth") is a species of fish believed to have been extinct since the end of the Cretaceous period — until a live specimen turned up off the east coast of South Africa in 1938. Today they can be found in the Comoros, Sulawesi (Indonesia), Kenya, Tanzania, Mozambique, Madagascar and the St. Lucia Marine Protected Area in South Africa.
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Getting a free year's worth

A few months back, I told you that the majority of available Bruichladdich 10 year old is actually 12 years old.

Well, it turns out that Macallan 17 year old Fine Oak is actually an 18 year old. Rumor has it that it was believed that having two 18 year olds old on the market might cause some confusion. Calling it a 17 year old apparently alleviates the fear of confusion. I should also note that in Europe, it is marketed as an 18 year old.

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Another Malt Whisky t-shirt siting

Laager and Limehouse, is an online comic book. The characters in the comic book are usually rendered wearing t-shirts gathered from around the Internet.

It was pointed out to me that in one issue Bell, one of the main characters, was "wearing" one of the sold-out "Malt Whisky" t-shirts which I had produced to promote The Scotch Blog. The author of the comic sent me this "photo" of Bell.

Mine, All Mine

On Friday June 22, 2006 Bruichladdich released the following press release

Mined over Matter

The Royal Navy's bomb disposal team have delivered a mine to a west coast distillery.

Some months ago Lieutenant Commander John Law and his elite Northern Diving Group were called out to deal with the small matter of a World War II mine found on a beach close to Bruichladdich distillery on the Isle of   Islay.

Once the mine had been safely detonated, the team was invited by Bruichladdich Distillery Manager Duncan MacGillivray, a member of the Coastguard team in attendance, for a dram to ‘steady the nerves’. 

“After the CIA, the Yellow Submarine – the Bomb Squad turning up at the distillery was all we needed”  recalls Managing Director Mark Reynier, on seeing the Bomb Disposal convoy pull in to the  courtyard.

“When I realised there was no danger of imminent disaster, I asked if we could have our very own mine in the distillery’s courtyard  for fundraising -  and the Northern Diving Group were only too happy to help us out.”

The giant Mk 17 World War II buoyant mine – provided by the mine team at the Defence Munitions Centre in Crombie – stands more than six feet tall including it’s sinker, weighs one tonne and is topped with some rather noticeable orange paint – making it really stand out from the crowd.

It has a collection box attached to the front to raise money for the Royal National Lifeboat Institution – a charity at the heart of the community of Islay, which is home to one of the west coast’s largest and busiest lifeboats.

Lieutenant Commander John  Law, Warrant Officer Steve Strange and Australian Navy exchange diver Brad Eames attended the Bruichladdich Open Day during the 2006 Islay festival to deliver and formally present  the mine.

“It’s actually great to be able to do something like this,” said John. “The RNLI is a most worthwhile cause, with its volunteer men and women risking their lives at sea around our coasts.

“The Northern Diving Group has been delighted to supply this mine which will hopefully raise loads of cash for the charity. We were made to feel incredibly welcome and will, no doubt, pop in next time we’re over on an emergency call out.”

Last year the distillery had a run-in with the Ministry of Defence over a special bottling “Bruichladdich’s Yellow Submarine”, an on-going reminder of the embarrassing incident concerning the loss of a mine-clearing submarine.

Some claim this mine, donated by the M.O.D, may not be disarmed after all…

Interestingly, I was at Bruichladdich when the mine was delivered (the day before Bruichladdich day) - I got to enjoy a celebratory dram with Mark Reynier, Simon Coughlin, Jim McEwan, Andrew Gray and the members of the bomb squad. I was also the first person to use the mine to make a donation to the RNLI. Pictures below.

Bowmore Tour Guide/ Rumor & Innuendo

A funny thing happened while taking pictures at Bowmore...
So...I stop off at Bowmore distillery to take some pictures when I run into Percy McPherson, Distillery Manager.

Percy McPherson: Want a tour?

Kevin Erskine: No, I was just going to wander around and take some pictures - is that all right?

PM: No problem.

I start to wander about unfettered. Malt House, Kiln, Mill, Mash, Tun rooms; snapping away happily. I get to the Still room - when I happen upon a tour group - and continue to take pictures.

Snooty Tour Guide: What are you doing?

KE: Taking Pictures. (I thought it was apparent).

STG: Are you on the tour?

KE: No. (Which I also thought was apparent).

STG: Please leave. And don't come back! (Her exact words).

Dumbfounded, I left. On the way out of the distillery grounds, I ran into Percy again.

PM: Well, that was quick.

KE: Well, I didn't finish - In the Still room one of your tour guides told me to "leave. And don't come back!"

PM: No she didn't. (incredulous).

KE: Her exact words. Oh, she did say "Please".

PM: We'll see about that. Follow me.

Percy marched off towards the still room with me in tow. When we arrived he pulled the tour guide aside and had some quick words with her.

PM: You'll be fine now.

Thanks, Percy.

I finished up my picture taking and drove down to Lagavulin for the master class.

When I told this story I heard the following response no less than three times:

"That never would have happened when Christine was there."

They were referring of course to Christine Logan, much-beloved former manager of the Bowmore Distillery Visitor Center.

Don't worry Suntory, I still like Bowmore.

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Introducing a new feature..Rumor & Innuendo.
Obviously, It will only be viable as people continue to feed me information. So...if you are in the know, use the ...I've got a hot tip link and send me some inside dirt. Anonymity guaranteed.

• Martin Markvardsen is leaving the Craigellachie. Will he become the newest brand ambassador for Macallan?
• The fact that Diageo is looking to sell the Port Ellen Maltings seems to be the worst kept secret ever. Rumors abound over who might be interested in taking it off their hands. One rumor is...nobody.
• Fine Expressions is the best drinks magazine to surface in a while. But there seems to be a question about how long it will last. it would be a shame to see it disappear, so check it out.

Huh????

Johnnie Walker Honored as Wine Enthusiast's 2005 Distiller of the Year!!!

That is GREAT news! My favorite distillery in the entire world is the little-known Johnnie Walker Distillery. Since you may not be familiar with it, the distillery is nestled in a beautiful, pristine valley on Tiree, one of the most lovely Hebridean Islands you'll ever visit.

The distillery has been owned and run by the same family for over 15 generations. Johnnie Walker (the 12th) is the Master Distiller for this wonderful non-peated Islay-inspired, Lowlandish, Speysider. He grows all of his own barley on his one-acre farm, which he malts, mashes and ferments by himself in a very large machine of his own design. He uses only Evian water, imported from France, for the production process and dilution.

He only produces one cask at a time, and ages each of these precious containers individually for 10 years by perching atop the cask like a mother hen. His wife of 43 years, Marybeth, fills and hand labels each bottle (she also runs the small visitor center).

The bottles are then gently swaddled in rare Cambodian silk, and then lovingly placed in a custom-made gold-hinged box constructed of petrified wood. His aged grandfather "Chuck" Walker then swims to the mainland and walks to Edinburgh where he hand-delivers each bottle to Royal Mile Whiskies - the sole purveyor of the line.

Said Johnnie Walker when informed of the distillery's award as "Distiller of the Year":

I am absolutely ecstatic that someone has finally recognized this small family-owned  distillery.

We are even more excited that it is that well-known whisky-oriented periodical "Wine Enthusiast."

For some unknown reason, the rest of the world believes that Johnnie Walker is a blended product. Which is simply NOT true.

Our line of Single Malts - which we refer to as "Red", "Black", "Gold" & our brand new, "Blue" (for the budget conscious), are all produced here at the distillery by me, my wife, and our man-servant, Hamish.

We also recently introduced a raspberry-infused cream bourbon, the first legally produced outside of the US, which we call "Green" because of it's chartreuse color.

I'd like to thank our public relations agency, the small London-based boutique firm Diageo which is helping us more firmly establish ourselves as an up and comer in the Single Malt world.

Their unending dedication to the simple idea that confusion in the Scotch whisky industry is the single biggest blight on the planet - their never-ending fight to make sure consumers are not confused between what is a Single Malt Scotch and what is a blend.

It is through their work alone that the world now knows that we are, in fact a distiller, and not a producer of something so pedestrian as a "blend."

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Of course, the article above is a work of sarcasm. Nothing in the story is true EXCEPT that Wine Enthusiast DID in fact, name Johnnie Walker the "Distiller of the Year." Here are some facts to reduce potential confusion:

• A blended whisky is created when the single malt whisky of a distillery (and usually multiple distilleries) is mixed with grain whisky.
• Johnnie Walker is the brand name of a line of blended Scotches owned by Diageo.
• Johnnie Walker Red purportedly includes 35 different single malts, while Johnnie Walker Black contains 40 different single malts.
• Unlike Red, Black, Gold & Blue, Johnnie Walker Green is a vatted (or blended) malt and contains no grain whisky. In my estimation, it is a pretty good dram.
• 150 million bottles of Johnnie Walker Blended Scotch whiskies are sold each year.
• Johnnie Walker does NOT have a distillery. And if they did it would likely NOT be on Tiree.
• Diageo is NOT a small London-based Public Relations firm, but is the largest producer of alcoholic beverages in the world with a market capitalization of $44.4 billion and revenues of $12 billion which generates $3.25 billion in profit per year.

Boos and hisses to:

Wine Enthusiast - for either doing zero research, or allowing advertising dollars to sway their votes.

Had they named Johnnie Walker BRAND of the year, or marketer of the year, I'd have had no issues with the award. Had they named Johnnie Walker (any of the labels) the best tasting blend, I may have had issues with their sense of taste.

F. Paul Pacult - who is the Spirits Tasting Director at Wine Enthusiast, and should know better - however I'm starting to wonder if he isn't also an employee of Diageo. He wrote the original article selecting Johnnie Walker as "Distiller of the Year." He has a long history of writing what I consider to be Diageo "fluff" pieces. (One example of this is discussed in Integrity)

Diageo - Instead of CLARIFYING Wine Enthusiast's misinformed (easily-swayed?) award granters, and simply turning down this "award" to avoid confusion, Diageo accepts the award and issues a Press Release to tout it. Not only do the attempts to confuse Scotch drinkers continue, now they want to confuse wine drinkers.

Shame on you all.

Read the press release here: Johnnie Walker Honored as Wine Enthusiast's 2005 Distiller of the Year
Read the Wine Enthusiast article here: Distiller of the Year - Johnnie Walker Dieageo (sic) Ltd.
Here is a snippet from that article:

Innovative marketing successes and institutional pedigree duly noted, the editors of Wine Enthusiast Magazine have named Johnnie Walker Distiller of the Year primarily because of the continued, unwavering quality of the Johnnie Walker portfolio of blended Scotch whiskies. This is true, in particular, with the company’s two “core” offerings, Johnnie Walker Red Label and Johnnie Walker Black Label 12-Year-Old. These two sibling whiskies represent remarkable value, while embodying quality and sophistication. They epitomize why blended Scotch whisky is the world’s most popular kind of whisky.

The company’s triumphant foray into the superpremium and ultrapremium blended Scotch whisky categories, with Johnnie Walker Gold Label 18 Year Old and Johnnie Walker Blue Label (the latter priced at $190), has bolstered its ranking as the world’s foremost blended Scotch whisky source. The Gold Label has been lauded as one of the top blended Scotch whiskies in the world, while the Blue Label enjoys a reputation of mythic proportions among connoisseurs.

PLEASE NOTE: I want to point out QUITE CLEARLY that I include many of Diageo's products among my absolute favorites. It's the Marketing department and their duplicitous tactics which I clearly have issues with.

I'm imploring Diageo to use their leadership position to help clarify, and not confuse the general public about Scotch. I also hereby offer myself to act as their "marketing conscience."

I will only charge them a case of each of the Classic Malts and 2 cases of Guinness per calendar year. Oh, and profit sharing.

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Whisky101
I wanted to remind you all of Whisky 101. The base is growing slowly but surely - Registered users include Misako Udo, Author of The Scottish Whisky Distilleries; Ulf Buxrud, a Keeper of the Quaich & Malt Maniac; The Liquor Snob; and we've even had a Mark Reynier siting.

Stop by and share your wisdom.

Still looking for moderators, Resident Experts, and of course, people who just want to have a friendly place to discuss Scotch (and maybe even some other adult beverages).

Meet the winner

Get The Scotch Blog delivered to your in-box
Use the "Stay in touch...get new stories via email" area in the upper right-hand corner of this screen to sign up for automatic emails.

How it works....you sign up (through a service called "FeedBlitz") and the evening after a new TSB story is published, you'll receive an email (from Feedblitz) with a summary of the story - allowing you to click through to The Scotch Blog, where you can read the full story.

Remember, this is DIFFERENT than signing up for the Mailing List. Mailing list members get advance notice of "Free Stuff," heads up on stories, and what have you - but they DON'T automatically get TSB emailed to them.

So, sign up for one or sign up for both, and be the most educated Scotch drinker in your neighborhood.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

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Meet the Winner
The results of the "Why I deserve a free The Scotch Blog T-Shirt" are in and the judges have spoken.
The judges?  Yours truly, Tony Dirksen (Radio Whisky) and Jake Jamieson (Liquor Snob).

Why I Deserve A Free T-Shirt, or, What I Did On My Family Vacation
By Will Dinyes

I love scotch.  I am particularly partial to Islay, but a good scotch can come from anywhere.  So much do I love scotch, I took my family on a vacation to Scotland this past February.  As you might imagine scotch featured prominently.  As did haggis, but it's not a free haggis shirt.  We toured Scotland's smallest distillery, The Edradour, where I bought not one, not two, but three bottles of scotch.  Featured among them are a 21 year old, signed by the distiller himself (he descended from his office to do so), and a 13 year old cask strength in a lovely etched bottle.  We toured the Royal Yacht, where my souvenir was, you guessed it, Her Majesty's Own Scotch.  A trip to the Scotch Whisky Heritage Centre yielded two scotch glasses, as well as 4 more bottles of scotch, including a 21 year old Isle of Jura, and a 21 year old Isle of Skye, and various gift scotch bottles.  Keeping count?  We didn't.  The last of our pound sterlings were spent at the duty free shop at Heathrow on 3 more bottles, where I discovered a lovely scotch, Scapa, a 14 year old single malt from Orkney.  So, laden with enough scotch to keep me nicely drunk for several years at least, we returned home.

But you wanted funny.  So here's funny:

The state in which I live allows 1, count 'em, 1 bottle of spirits per traveler over the age of 21.  Which entitled us to exactly 2 bottles, my daughter being only 18 months old at the time.  However, since 18 month olds are extremely cute, we used her, or more precisely the area under her stroller, as a scotch mule and snuck roughly 6 times the legal limit back into the United States.

If this tale of bootlegging and subjecting a minor to "educational" alcohol-related tours isn't enough to get me a free shirt with my beverage of choice emblazoned on the front, here are two tie-breakers: my last name is an anagram of the mouse company, and a photo of my daughter and me just outside said Heritage Centre (the little sign to the right of my daughter is the Centre).

Wear it proudly Will. And make no mistake. The blatant use of the baby as the mule sealed the deal.
And here is Will, sporting his handsome reward:

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  This picture in from Matt Jablow:

OK, maybe not the model you were looking for to promote the new shirt, hey but it's all I've got! And now I've got the shirt!!!
It's a great one too, I've been showing it off to people and they love it. everyone loves the Walt Disney spoof, and quite a few have done a double take to figure out what that says. Kinda scary how certain things get burned into our brains!